Overthinking: Why you might overthink and 3 simple ways to curb it

At times, usually when I have something big going on emotionally, my mind is on overdrive from the second I wake up in the morning. Sometimes it feels like it starts even before I wake up. Like in my dream I was even overthinking.

The tendency to overthink is often related to a childhood or early years environment where we were rejected on some level. This doesn’t have to have been an obvious traumatic event. Growing up with an emotionally unavailable caregiver could be enough to have taught us that who we are, what we do and what we have to say is not valuable.

To combat this, our brains tried to work out how to solve the problem; the problem being us. How do we work out how to fit in, how to be accepted, how to be better. We go over and over old conversations or future scenarios analysing for what we did wrong or are bound to do wrong down the line.

It’s really sad.

The good news is we can train ourselves to change this pattern. Because that’s all it really is, a pattern of behaviour, a thing we’ve learnt to do. And we can unlearn it and learn a new one. It takes some dedicated time and energy but it’s worth it to get out of those loops. They torture us and keep us stuck and really and truly…you don’t deserve it.

So what steps can you take?

1. Give yourself a reason.

   
   

   Why do you even want to stop overthinking things so much? Your why will be your compass when the inevitable happens and you start to try and talk yourself out of taking action. I’ll give you some ideas if you’re stuck…

+Because you don’t deserve to be tortured by yourself

+Because you deserve a fulfilling life

+Because you deserve to be happy

2. Rewrite the script

Practice re-parenting yourself by giving yourself the vocabulary that was missing when growing up. Say out loud, in your head or write down the following phrases:

+I deserve to be here

+I have important things to say

+I am unconditionally loveable

Affirmations can feel really cringe if you’re not used them. But the science really backs their effectiveness. When we’re changing negative thought patterns we need positive alternatives to replace the harmful ones. Simply trying to stop the negative thoughts that are circulating is a battle we can’t win. Or at least it's a much harder fought one.

3. Walk it off.

I know I know this is the last thing you want to hear when you're spiralling. I know I really do. But hear me out..

The stress hormone cortisol is in control of our body (and therefore mind) when we are in an overthinking spiral. And this hormone can be metabolised. Getting out for a walk and I don’t mean a leisurely stroll, go for a brisk purposeful walk. Play music with a high BPM and strut. Aim for 30-45 minutes.

You can tell yourself you don’t have time, but please go back to point 1..why are you doing this?

love,

Jo x